Family Members: Grammy-my wife, Pappy-me, Claire-my oldest daughter, Phil-Claire’s husband, Annie-Claire’s newborn, Beth-Claire’s first born, Ella-my middle daughter, Amy-my youngest daughter.
I know a man’s home is his castle but what happens when the castle turns against the man. No, its not haunted. There are no ghosts spooks or specters in Pappy’s pad. There are however, many projects in play that make it seem as if there could be ghouls in the pipes, or at least in some of the home improvement stores that we frequent.
Grammy, my wife and I decided to throw a baby shower for a girl at Ella, my middle daughter’s workplace. We shopped for new doors, new ceiling fans, and a new kitchen sink and disposal. We left the store with our goodies only to get home and wait for the bad news. Last week the plumber came out and told us he cannot cut our sink opening to fit the new sink into the countertop. It seems they become responsible for the countertop if they miscut the opening. So now we have no kitchen sink as he had to remove it first to give us this news.
Next, we had a nice fellow come out to hang our fans. Three are now hung but all are out of balance and one may require an electrician to fix the wall outlet. These so-called home improvements do not come without a cost to your frayed nerves and patience. As I now sit waiting for the plumber to arrive, I’ll give you the last shoe to fall on King Pappy’s castle. I woke up this morning to raw sewage backup in my shower and tub. Did I say we weren’t haunted?
It seems I have a few hours to kill as I sit waiting for the chance to take my morning shower before work. Today Grammy is set to have the old kitchen sink put back in as no one will take the responsibility to cut the countertop to make the new kitchen sink fit properly. A second plumber is coming to handle the raw sewage backup and all the toliets malfunctions.
Grammy is also expecting the guys who can hang our new doors to come out today. We will probably find out the doors can only be hung by left-handed, union backed journeymen who have the day off on Greek bailout day. Wait a minute did I just see an apparition float by? I could use Harry Potter’s friend Hermione Granger about now to waive her wand pronouncing “Occular Repairo!”
Forget the Goblins in the sheetrock. phantoms in the woodwork and spook in the attic. We have a real red alarm here at the pad! Reality can often be more scary and trying than mere movie characters. Try not being able to shower and use your toliets for awhile. How about letting the dishes stack up in the sink or watching all your new fans wobble from side to side or not even work at all.
I am a little bit scared now. I am frightened of the new set of door hangers coming today on top of the plumbers and lighting professioinals that did make us feel ghastly. Ahh the smell of raw sewage in the morning…Did I tell you the plumber finally arrived and can’t find our outdoor cleanout? He looks and laughs a bit like Vincent Price. We all have our demons to exercise and face down but at 6 am on a Monday morning? Comon, give me a break!
Alas, Pappy and the Pappyclan will recover! We will bounce back! Just wait and see. It may take a day, a week or well maybe a month to fight off this Murphy’s driven scenario, but we will emerge victorious.
Yea, we will rise from the ashes of what is ultimately left of our happy home. We will take back our property and yes our happiness from these would be trators of their trades. Our ceiling fans will work, our toliets will flush again, and yes our doors will lock. We will go forth into the work a day world and make the money needed to own and operate a home in suburbia Texas!
Do not fear Pappy is here! Boy am I here. I am stuck here until my Pappy plumber puts in the fix. I will write checks, I will follow-up with future billings in the form of online payments. Order will return to prideful Pappy’s life. Even now, I smile to my self thinking about the helplessness of my predicament. AGHHH! I think I saw Casper!
Happy home keeping, Pappy